Having A Second Baby: Why There’s Enough Love For Both

When I was pregnant with my second baby, toddler running around, I had many questions about how I would handle life as the mother of two. I wondered in my heart how I could love another child as much as I loved my firstborn. How will I handle adding another, living, breathing, human being into this mix? I still remember the gentle words of a friend saying, “Your heart will grow!”, as she firmly embraced me and looked at me with this gaze that was more confident in me than I was in myself. And it is true. At some point, your heart will grow! It may not happen immediately, but your heart will grow and your mind and body will adjust as you learn and find your new normal as the mom of not one, but 2 kiddos! In the meantime, here are a few tips from a fellow mother that has been there. You can do this! 

#1 Have a Postpartum Plan 

So many times we plan and prepare for birth, and neglect to form a solid plan for the postpartum period. It is so important to plan for this period to ease the transition for all members in the family and to allow the new mother of two time to rest, recover from birth, and bond with her new baby while navigating her new role. Have a postpartum plan that gives you solid ideas for feeding your family, enlist help in maintaining the older siblings regularly scheduled activities, have some folks willing to help with laundry and cleaning, as well as emotional support and help for you- the mom! Think of other priorities for you or your family, and don’t be afraid to reach out to those you love for support and help during this transitional period. Monitor your emotional and mental health, and don’t be afraid to do things or ask for help so that you can nurture yourself. 

#2 Show Yourself some Love 

Go and look in the mirror, mom. See that person? You are incredible, and you have given life to 2 human beings! How amazing is that? In light of that big news, Tip #2 is to simply show yourself some love and grace. No fancy advice, just show yourself some love and grace. Actually do it. Do not force yourself to be up and running (unless you are physically able and want to be) and back in full swing right after having Baby #2. Give yourself permission to slow down and just be present with your now, two children. Do not speak negatively to yourself if you feel like you don’t quite “have it all down yet.” It takes time to develop a new rhthym or routine when you have a new baby. Give yourself grace to figure things out, to try different ways, and to ask for help if you need it. If there’s a day when the toddler won’t stop tantruming while the baby is crying and needs you to feed them, and the dog pukes all over the carpet, all while you’re trying to email work back- that’s ok. Do me a favor, and in this moment, choose to stop, breathe, love yourself and then meet the needs of your children as best as you can in that moment. You can only do your best, so do that, and cut yourself some slack if all the pieces don’t always seem to fit just right. 

So, there you have it! Those are my top 2 tips for preparing to be a mother of 2. Have a plan, and don’t forget to love yourself! Please do not be afraid to enlist the support of family, friends, and others in your community. You do not have to do this alone, and we hope that you know that you can reach out to Yamel or myself, if you need a little OneLove. We are here for you, and you got this! 

Above all know that we are here to make your transition easier, to aid in any way we can. Doing so with,

Here are some additional postpartum and Motherhood resources: 

Postpartum Lying In Plan: http://earthmamalyingin.com/earth-mama-free-lying-postpartum-plan/

Motherhood support: The Red Tent Collective, Community Roots Collective 

About the Author

Mandy Casey is a Certified Labor Doula, wife, mother, and homemaker. Before becoming a mother and Doula, she worked with victims of violence in the public spectrum after going to school for Counseling. Mandy is most passionate about her family, friends, as well as supporting mothers and their mental health through the many transitions that are motherhood.